Well, it’s the first of the month of a brand new year and I am home. I guess this is why they call it “part-time work…” Meaning, part-time work and part-time, no work. I am currently experiencing the no work part and it’s making me rather nervous. Nervous, because I got caught between pay periods on my last month’s part-time work, and now I am 50.00 short on my rent. Add that to the phone bill that I need to pay by tomorrow if I want to still be receiving calls for more “part-time work”, a tooth that need to be root canaled, hair that is in desperate need of a cut, no where to turn to for help, and you get….well…nervous.”
When I’m nervous, I clean. I guess somewhere in the back of my head I believe that if everything is just straight and orderly, my life will fall into place. So, I vacuum the carpets, I scrub the floors, I wash the dog, and clean the patio. But, I’m still nervous. “Maybe I should just start the new year fresh and throw everything out! I mean..How can something new come into my life if there’s no room for it !” So, I throw out everything in my closets and drawers that I haven’t worn for a year! Boots, shoes, sandals, old sneakers.“ For heaven’s sake ,I’ve been holdin onto these red cowboy boots for 10 years and I haven’t worn em’ in 8!” Out!...Blouses , socks and pants ,”Oooh, honey..this fanny ain’t never fittin’ into these britches no more!” … “Ski pants? I don’t even know HOW to ski! “
And right when I reach for the telephone to call the Salvation Army for a pick-up ,it rings. And the voice on the other end say, “Hey, girl! You wanna be a bartender with me this Saturday nite?” (Wow! This cleaning up thing really works fast!) It’s my friend Christopher. He’s a well known caterer. “I have this last minute “gig” and figured I’d just do it myself and remembered you said you were looking for work. You want to help me?”
“Sure!” I reply, “But I don’t know much about bartendin.”
”No big deal, ..you can just follow my lead! I’ll pick you up Saturday nite!”
I hang up the phone and raise my arms to heaven, ”Oh,thank you, thank you, thank you Lord! There’s the rent!” Ahhh . Now I’m not quite so nervous.
It’s 8 o’clock on Saturday nite. Christopher calls me on his cell phone,”Hey girl! I’m out front! Let’s go pour some drinks!” I give my doggie a biscuit , rush out front , hop into his caterin’ truck and we head on down the road apiece to the place in Santa Fe Springs. On the way over, Christopher gives me last minute instructions. “OK…It’s a party for the employees of a big restaurant/bar. Thrown by the owners. It’ll probably be mostly whiskey and beer. Just follow my lead! If you don’t have any idea how to fix something, yell the orders out to me.“ “Ohh-kay.” I reply. He looks at me and says, “Hey..You’re an actress. Act like you know what you’re doing.” (“I can do this.”)
We arrive at the restaurant. It’s very big with two huge bars and a big dining area. We’re led by the owner, this very nice lady, into the back bar where the party’s gonna be. There’s lots of tables set up with a dance floor and karaoke screen, and they have a DJ that’s playing this really bad disco music to test the speakers. The nice lady owner asks,
“Where’s the other bartender? I thought there was going to be 3 of you. We’ll need three. There’s 60 people on each bus and they’ll all be arriving all at once.” (“Oh…my.. God.”)…. Christopher sees my eyeballs get really big, elbows me and says confidently, “Oh, we can handle that many easily! We do this all the time! Don’t worry! Bring em on!” I smile confidently and nod my head in agreement.(“Oh, my God.”)
She leads us to the bar. It’s huge. And incredibly well stocked. She quickly goes over the inventory, “Here’s all your beers,bud lites, coronas,millers , heiniken…here’s the whiskeys,Jack,Canadian , Southern Comfort,.. (“Boy, could I use a shot of that right about now!”) the scotches over here, the brandies and liquors over there, here’s your vodkas, tequilas and and gins….the wines..merlot, cabernets, pinot grigio, chardonnay.. Your margarita mixes, tomato juices,cranberry juice, soda,cola,diet cola, gingerale dispenser..onions,limes,cherries, etc. I tell you what, let’s make it easy.Tonight, just use paper cups for all drinks.”
(“Oh, that’s a relief! Like I wasn’t already on overload after the beers alone!)..
Then, suddenly the doors fly open, the DJ blares out Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” and 120 thirsty people stampede towards us for drinks!
“Hey, honey. You wanna give me two “Alien Solutions and one blue Hawaii
“Scuse me, Could I have a jagermeister and red bull?
“ Hi! I’ll have two margaritas, one jack and coke, 3 millers and a glass of pino greege! No, make that 2 glasses of pinot greege and Jim, there, wants a vodka martini.”
(Did she say, alien solution?)
Christopher pokes me.”You go girl! You heard the man, That’s 3 millers and 2 pino greegios! …I’ll mix the drinks! Let’s party!”
Well,honey,for four hours straight, we pour up so many Jacks and cokes, shots of tequila, millers and buds, cabernets and peach brandies ,we’re the only ones standin’, cause our feet are stickin’ to the floor! We hear every off key version of “If I Could Turn Back Time” , help them workers spell out
“Y-M-C-A” from behind the bar, and watch in awe as 120 tipsy employees cut-loose and jirate simultaneously to the Macarena ! By the time midnite strikes, our tip jars are overflowing with gratitude and the owner lady is so pleased, she adds another hundred to the pot and insists we take home the leftover cheesecake!
As they all say their good-byes, their regular house bartender stops by and says to me on his way out, “Wow. It must be hard. Mixing drinks in a strange bar every night. I don’t know how you do it.” I reply non-chalantly, “Oh..you get used to it. You’ve tended one bar, you’ve tended em all.
(Oh.. my God..)”
Christopher and I talk and laugh all the way home about what a crazy evening it was. As I wave goodnight to Chris and put my key into the gate, I think to myself, ”Geez! That wasn’t so bad. Then it occurs to me, oohhh. Would if I’m becoming some kind of “ part-time work” junkie! That can only “get off’” on being in new situations that make me…well… nervous? Nahhhh…. I’m just one of our new breed of workers.
I.. am the Part-time American.”
No comments:
Post a Comment